Navigating The Unimaginable: How to Support Someone After Child Loss

Brandy Braun • May 3, 2025

Child Loss—Tips for Offering Support

How to Support Someone After Child Loss

A black and white photo of a statue of an angel sleeping on a rock.

Navigating the Unimaginable: How to Support Someone After Child Loss

Losing a child is a pain no one should ever endure. If someone you know is facing this devastating loss, you might feel helpless, unsure of what to say or do. Know that your presence and genuine care can make a big difference, even if you can't fully understand their grief.

Here's how you can offer meaningful support:

1. Be Present and Acknowledge Their Loss:

The most important thing is to simply be there. Don't avoid them because you're uncomfortable. Acknowledge their child by name. Say something like, "I am so sorry for the loss of [child's name]. This is an unimaginable pain." Your presence shows you care and validates their grief.

2. Listen Without Judgment or Offering Solutions:

Resist the urge to offer advice, compare their loss to something else, or tell them "everything happens for a reason." Instead, be a patient listener. Let them talk about their child, their memories, their pain, or even their anger. Just listen without interrupting or trying to fix it.

3. Offer Practical Help, Not Just Words:

Grief can be overwhelming, making everyday tasks feel impossible. Instead of saying "Let me know if you need anything," offer specific help:

"Can I bring over a meal this week?"

"Would it help if I did a load of laundry for you?"

"I'm going to the grocery store, what can I pick up?"

"Can I help with any phone calls or paperwork?"

4. Remember Important Dates:

The pain of losing a child doesn't disappear with time. Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly difficult. Reach out on these days to let them know you're thinking of them and remembering their child.

5. Understand Grief is Unique and Ongoing:

There's no timeline for grief. Allow them to grieve in their own way and for as long as they need. Be patient and understanding, even if their grief looks different over time. Continue to offer support in the weeks, months, and years to come.

What NOT to Say:

"You'll get over it."

"At least you have other children."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"You need to be strong."

"It's time to move on."

Supporting someone through the loss of a child is a marathon, not a sprint. Your consistent presence, empathetic listening, and practical help can provide a lifeline during their darkest days.

#childloss #griefsupport #bereavedparents #supportinggrief #compassion


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